The Great Porcelain Pretender Hierarchy

Porcelain Pretender 3000

This is the most basic of the porcelain pretender types. It's like a toaster, but with more ceramic.

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Porcelain Pretender 9000

This pretender is like the toaster's cool, edgy cousin. It's got more bells and whistles, but still doesn't make toast.

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Porcelain Pretender Ultra

This is the top-of-the-line pretender, with all the fixings and a built-in coffee maker.

The ultimate in porcelain pretending
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